Missing You Grandma & Grandpa

Well, lately I have found myself thinking of my grandparents often and how much I miss them! It's crazy sometimes how often I find myself wishing I could have just one more of their amazing hugs or kisses they would often shower me with every time I saw them!

If I could have one more day with someone not on this earth anymore, it would be the amazing woman pictured above! My grandmother, Bonnie Hebdon, has and always will be my hero! She never failed to bring a smile to my face with her loving and kind words. Some of my most treasured moments were spend with this woman. She is absolutely amazing to me and always will be! Some of my favorite memories are cooking with her (she was a fabulous cook), sitting next to her in church as she would rub my arm, and our weekly trips to take her to get her hair done and to the grocery store. Every Friday she would get her hair done, then we would go grocery shopping, get a donut (she would always get the jelly filled, chocolate, or the glazed croissants, then to Maverick to fill her mug with Diet Coke, my mothers mug with Pepsi and mine with whatever I wanted that day! I looked forward to those weekly trips and missed them so much once she got sick and was not able to go out anymore. I also loved our trips to Hong Kong! She loved Chinese food and Hong Kong was her favorite! She would always get the Sweet & Sour Pork with Ham Fried Rice! :)

I miss the fact that every time I would have to leave her after visiting tears would be shed because she didn't want me to go. Her grandkids were such a treasure to her. I could always tell I was loved by my grandma unconditionally and that I could always count on her to make me feel better.

My last memory of her happened a couple weeks before she passed away. I had spend the weekend in Blackfoot, at the time I was going to school in Rexburg, and I had spent the night at her place that weekend to help her during the night. I remember waking up to help her as I heard her call my name over the baby monitor. How I loved and miss her voice so much! I remember as I was preparing to leave to go back to Rexburg for school, she hugged me and cried. She then asked me to stay just a little bit longer. I sat down next to her on the arm of her big chair and we just held each other for a while. I will treasure those last few minutes we had together for the rest of my life! I wasn't able to say goodbye to her and so for me those last few minutes that I was able to spend with her are of such importance to me!

I wrote a poem shortly after she passed away that explained so much of what I was feeling. It was wrote from her point of view. You can read it here.

This handsome man is my amazing grandfather! Oh my dear Grandpa Hebdon! Ha, he was such a character. Although he had a short temper at times he was one of the most loving men I have known. He may not have always shown his love as often as some, but I always knew that he loved me without a doubt. It was also evident hat he loved his dear wife, Bonnie, and my grandmother very much. Once she got sick, he did everything he could to help get her feeling better and on the road to recovery. He was the hardest worker I have ever known in my life. He worked so hard to support his family, and even in his old age he continued to work harder than most people I know. He was so funny! Sometimes I would just find myself laughing so much at some of the things he said! He always gave great hugs, just like my grandma, and he patted me back every time I got a hug, and he always gave out kisses! He loved his coffee, Pepsi, and milk! :) He was never a picky eater and would eat anything you made for him and tell you every time how great it tasted! He was such a fisherman! I've never known anyone to love fishing as much as this man did! I will never forget all of the numerous pictures of him fishing, and how he was so patient with me every time I went fishing with him. He would bait my hook every time because he knew I didn't like to do it, and every time I would get upset that I let a fish get away he would say, "Don't worry, you'll get another one." He was the happiest when he was with family and fishing. He also loved hunting and camping! I looked forward to our annual camping trips in Palisades over the fourth of July for his birthday every year! I always had so much fun! 

He passed away after fighting cancer for the second time in his life! He first suffered from prostate cancer and beat it, only to have to fight another type of cancer later in life. He suffered with Multiple Myeloma which took him not long after we all found out he was sick. He was always in such pain because of the cancer but he would never let on to how much pain he was really feeling. 

I am so grateful for the last camping trip we were able to go on with him this last year. I remember he was bound and determined to go despite the doctors counsel. So he went, oxygen and all. He enjoyed himself even though he had to be hooked up to his oxygen the whole time. He even got out on the boat and went out on the four wheelers a couple times. I will never forget the four wheeler ride I was able to go on with him that last time camping with him.

Although it was an incredibly hard experience, I am glad that I was able to be with my grandfather in his last days on this earth. He passed away at home with all of his family surrounding him. We were all able to be there with him as he took his last breaths, and although that may sound like not the most wonderful experience, it was something I wouldn't change for anything. After not being able to say goodbye to my grandma when she passed it meant a lot to me to be able to tell him goodbye and how much I loved him before he had to go.

I also wrote a couple poems when he was suffering from the cancer right before he passed away. One was about family, which you can find here.

I just needed to vent and write down the feelings that have been on my mind regarding these two amazing people. I will never go a day without thinking about them, and how much I love and miss them!  Growing up right next door to them was a joy and the close bond I shared with them is more precious than words can express. Oh, what I wouldn't give for one more hug, one more kiss, one more "I love you" from the two of them.